Bandmasters Review - September 2019

Texas Bandmasters Association Bandmasters Review • September 2019 18 During my clinic at the 2019 TBA convention, participating directors shared and prioritized tips and tactics to better balance being a band director WITH their personal life. Here are the top ten ideas they shared on how to balance both your personal relationships and your professional career as a band director: 1. We make time to participate in something that we are passionate about. (something other than band.) 2. If one of you is home later than the other after dinner and they have yet to eat, sit with them at the table as they have dinner—even though you may have eaten alone. 3. The work will always be there. Set your hours and prioritize the most immediate tasks and then GO HOME! 4. Take time to travel to a “bucket list” place as often as you can. 5. Go to church together. 6. Maximize your time at work so that you can be as present as possible once you are home. 7. Schedule date nights and then watch a Netflix TV series together. (You can’t move on without the other person!) 8. We work together, so our rule is to leave school most days by 5:30 PM and not work until our son is in bed. 9. Having a date night each week with your spouse is really important! 10.Ask them every day what’s been going on in their life today, then LISTEN! Taking Time vs. Making Time In addition to these top ten tips, there were many specific “date night” ideas shared! BRAVO! Remember everyone gets the same amount of time every day, every week, every month, every year. Rather than thinking about “taking time” for your personal life, be sure you are “making time” to reinforce the relationships you have with the important people in your personal life. The only other most-often, repeatedly-reoccurring, idea shared was “shutting down” your electronic devices. (i.e. Turn off the technology and stop phubbing your partner!) The term phubbing is a portmanteau of the words ‘phone’ and ‘snubbing’ and describes the act of snubbing someone in a social setting by paying attention to one’s phone instead of talking to the person directly in one’s company. 2 Perhaps you know someone who might benefit from Tripp and Tyler’s patent-pending Present Spray: https:// youtu.be/eHmi0bre2nQ. Belinda Luscombe, author of Marriageology , believes this might actually be one of the earliest signs that a relationship is struggling. Are you looking at your phone when the other person starts talking? 3 When you do that, whether you intend to or not, the message you are sending is: “You are less important than my phone.” YIKES! Perhaps we all need to keep in mind an important lesson we strive to teach our band students: Pay attention, respond appropriately, and get more involved in what’s going on— balancing your band WITH your personal life. REFERENCES: 1 Riggs, L., (2013, October 13). Why do teachers quit? And why do they stay? http://www.theatlantic.com/education/archive/2013/10/why- do-teachers- quit/280699/ 2 Yeslam Al Saggaf and Sarah B. O’Donnell, Phubbing: Perceptions, reasons behind, predictors, and impacts. Human Behavior and Emerging Technologies, 1, 2, (132-140), (2019). https://doi.org/10.1111/jasp.12506 3 Marriageology: The Art and Science of Staying Together by Belinda Luscombe. ISBN 978-0-399-59236-2 Fran Kick is an author, educational consultant, and professional speaker who just celebrated 30 years of marriage with his first wife Judy. He is the creator and presenter of KICK IT IN ® a series of self-motivational personal leadership presentations and published materials. Since taking an educational leave of absence from teaching band at Centerville High School (Ohio), he has developed his part-time speaking adventure into a full-time year-round mission. Today Fran presents programs across the U.S. and Canada to thousands of college/university, high school, junior high/middle school students, plus the many people who work with them. He has his B.A. in Music Education and a M.A. in Educational Psychology. Fran’s involvement with TBA has been graciously sponsored in part by both Drum Corps International and Music for All. You can find more information about Fran Kick at http://www.kickitin.com. FYI: For an earlier article written by Fran Kick with strategies on “Balancing Your Band and Your Life” be sure to check out the September 2014 Issue of Bandmasters Review. http://apps.texasbandmasters.org/ publications/bmr/2013_september/ Balancing Your Band WITH Your Personal Life