Bandmasters Review - September 2019

Texas Bandmasters Association Bandmasters Review • September 2019 17 Beginning in 2014, I started gathering “secret insider insight” at the TBA Spouses Luncheon. The idea was to ask real-world band director spouses what is the one question they’d love to ask their spouse, but never would? Their questions were profoundly impactful and very telling as to the communication gaps and behavioral differences between band directors and their spouses. I have subsequently followed up with TBA directors—along with other band directors from across the United States—capturing questions and video interviews. Utilizing an active research approach, a pattern emerged in both communication and behavior that either worked well or didn’t work. Did you really know what you were getting into? On both sides of the relationship, there’s clearly a difference between spouses who knew what they were getting into vs. spouses who did not know what they were getting into. “I had no idea!” was what many spouses shared. Interestingly enough, there are many band directors who discovered early on in their career that they too had no idea what they were getting into. The time commitments, the pressure to always make things better, the one more spinning plate you add (without taking any plates away) starts to stress out young band directors early in their career. One exceptionally talented band director (who’s still married to his first wife BTW) actually refused to be interviewed on video. His reason? “My suggestion for any young band director is to wait to get married until you figure this job out. Had I gotten married early on in my career, I’m sure my marriage would have ended in divorce. I was just too all-consumed with keeping up and was staying at school all the time! It probably would have ended badly.” I wonder if the early-career + early-marriage relationship challenge is another reason why we lose so many band directors? Burning out band directors or relationships? Nationally, according to research by Dr. Richard Ingersoll, Professor of Education and Sociology at the University of Pennsylvania’s Graduate School of Education, “anywhere between 40 and 50 percent of teachers will leave the classroom within their first five years (that includes the nine and a half percent that leave before the end of their first year.)” What about future educators? Well, “40 percent of teachers who pursue undergraduate degrees in teaching never even enter the classroom at all.” 1 Dr. Ingersoll’s research included private school teachers and also excluded the three percent of teachers who left (perhaps on maternity leave) yet still returned to teach within the five-year period. However, when sharing these numbers with music educators the response is usually “I bet it’s higher for band directors!” Utilizing updated video interview footage from band directors and their spouses, hear some of the challenges and issues faced in balancing life, relationships, family, and career when you are married to a band director: https://youtu.be/7UW1A-YoLGI or simply scan the QR code below to watch this 7-minute video on your phone right now. Want some ideas that have worked for these same band directors and their spouses in balancing their band director job with their personal life? Go to: https://youtu.be/kytll64iryY or scan the QR code below to watch this 15-minute video on your phone. Balancing Your Band WITH Your Personal Life Fran Kick (continued)